The Most Extraordinary English Teacher
One student, whenever he was supposed to say or write a number in classroom activities or home assignments, he was always choosing 666. This really irritated Ms Rambutans, his English teacher. One day she couldn’t bear it any more and as soon as the lesson had finished, walked up to him and said,
‘Alex, I’ve got really, really tired of you bringing up this 666 number whenever and wherever possible. I’ve told you so many times not to do so, but you seem to keep forgetting… Didn’t I tell you that if you continue doing this, you will have to write the sentence “Ms Rambutans has had enough of six, six, six” on the whiteboard 100 times?’
‘Alright, no problem,’ responded Alex and grabbed the marker.
‘Good,’ she said and left the classroom.
Alex didn’t write ‘Ms Rambutans has had enough of six, six, six’. He wrote ‘Ms Rambutans hasn’t had enough of s…x, s…x, s…x’.
While Ms Rambutans was having a meal at the canteen, the principal noticed the teacher, approached her table and sat next to her.
‘Ms Rambutans, what’s that sentence on the whiteboard?’ asked Ms Cucumbers. She waited for the answer as impatiently as for her CPE test results.
‘Sentence? I only remember writing down the topic of the lesson…’ responded Ms Rambutans somehow feeling that the conversation was going to get much more serious than that.
‘Wow! I wonder what made you choose such an unusual topic??’ asked the principal. Her eyes were as wide as the classroom windows.
‘Well, it wasn’t only me actually. I had surveyed the class before we went for the one that gathered the most votes,’ replied the teacher. Ms Cucumbers remained silent for a few seconds that felt like ages. Then she said,
‘Well, Ms Rambutans, I must admit that you are the most extraordinary English teacher I have ever met…’ Ms Rambutans didn’t know what to say back, so she said nothing.
‘But why did it take so much space?’ asked the principal after a short pause.
‘Sorry?’ asked the teacher with eyes full of confusion.
‘I mean, would you mind cleaning the whiteboard, please, Ms Rambutans? It’s all covered with your lesson’s topic. Another teacher is giving a lesson in this classroom very soon. We all expect the classroom to be in order before we enter it, don’t we?’
‘Sure, no problem,’ answered Ms Rambutans and rushed to the classroom. She ran so fast that everyone thought she was late for the lesson that had finished the day before.
When she came in, she looked at the whiteboard and… it was blank.
‘No worries, Ms Rambutans,’ said Alex, ‘I’ve already cleaned the whiteboard. You know, we finished our class much later than usual, so there isn’t enough time to write this stuff on the board. Therefore I did it on a sheet of paper instead,’ added the student and laid down his ‘essay’ on the teacher’s desk.
‘Fine,’ said Ms Rambutans and dashed to the teacher’s desk to collect all her things and leave the classroom on time. She was in such a rush that everything slipped out of her hands. All the paper materials muddled up together, including Alex’s ‘assignment’. But when Ms Rambutans got home and put everything in order again, she realised that the ‘artwork’ was lost. The teacher couldn’t find it anywhere… until many-many years later when she was 95.
One day Ms Rambutans was tidying her room and suddenly found her old bag. She pulled out everything that was inside. Among several things, there was a piece of paper that over time slightly turned yellow and was folded in half. The teacher unfolded it and… she laughed so hard that the politician on the TV screen couldn’t hear himself. Afterwards, she grabbed a pen and filled in the gaps with the missing letter.
It was… ‘a’.
Apart from teaching English, Ms Rambutans also enjoyed playing the saxophone. And Alex knew that.
The End